Yes. Clubs make England lose.
There you go said it. Read it and take in that one word.
The rivalry in England goes deeper than any other league. It is more inbred with the fans and more spirited across a larger number of teams than any other Country on Earth.
I know, I know there is Barca and Real with the most famous of all rivalries. The Milan derby, Glasgow derby, Brazil, Germany, France all have their major rivalries but none have as many as we do in the Premier League.
So what is the main derby in England? North London derby between Arsenal and Tottenham has the most history but then there are another 4 or 5 teams in London playing derbies with a hatful of history to bring emotions to the fore. But until only the past season or two the N.London derby wasn't the most important game to Arsenal as they went head to head with Manchester.United vying for supremacy year after year. The Manchester derby now takes a larger slice of the pie as the Billionaires bank account transforms City. Then there is the South Coast derbies and the North-East between not only Sunderland and Newcastle but Middlesborough also. What about Birmingham and Villa? Chelsea and Spurs. Chelsea and West Ham?
The list goes on and on until you only find a match without hate between Wigan and Manchester United. Oh wait, thats a derby as well.
Each and every game with its history, hate, love, passion, disasters. And thats just the fans? I don't think so sonny Jim!
And herein lies the problem, the so called mystery at why English players can't reproduce their dazzling goalscoring form from Club to Country. For far too long we have heard ignorant presenters lauding over who is or isn't World Class. Who is or isn't going to win the league beacuse of their Rooney or Lampard or Gerrard? Who cares? What we really want is England, champions of the World.
But it's not going to happen. It's not going to happen for a long while. Unless. And here comes the but. In two parts. The main players move abroad and experience different cultures, ways to play, managerial styles, fans, the lot. Secondly is to pick a whole new batch of players. Players that don't know each other so much. Players that don't hate each other so much.
And there it is. The rivalry between these players boils over every week. The red cards, crunching tackles, baiting of each other and oppostion fans. The need for 3points and the support from the foreign superstars.
The Premier Leagues English talent put together to form a squad to win a World cup has one major problem. They don't like each other.
They really don't like each other.
As time goes on we hear more and more about the rift in the squad between who shoud or shouldn't be captain. Who speaks up and who doesn't. Who hangs out together and who stays alone. The players never look happy and its because they don't like each other.
So Man up. Get on your bike and get abroad for a couple of years. No more crunching tackles on Cashley or Rooney. Follow Becks. Be a stranger and become a champion.
Thursday, 1 July 2010
Is it right to want Murray to win? Is it ok to follow the Dutch?
The World Cup has become more interesting now england are knocked out.
No longer do we have to listen to the arrogant and shameless tv commentators and presenters mindlessly waffling about the best route to the final or 40 or 50 years of hurt. Who realistically thought we could make the final? Nobody who hasn't had a lobotomy that's for sure. And what are all these years of hurt the English go on about? Hurt, what the flipping heck is that! It is not your divine right to be World Champions. It is not like your Father has been locked away in a far away lan unjustly and without trial. That's hurt. Not winning the World Cup because the players are not up for it and can't get on is part of the problem.
I'm pleased england are out because now I can follow my tip for the Tourny - The Dutch. Van Persie, Van Bommel and the left footed enigma that Chelsea somehow let leave, Robben. I truly think they have what it takes to beat Brazil and go all the way to the final. Then its a lottery.
And as for the Tennis. A quick word on Murray. Win and hes a Brit. Lose and hes always Scottish. I'll prob be drawn into some emotional bullshit that will want him to win vs Nadal in the semis but really, he's still a dirty sweaty with a dislike of all things England (apart from the millions pumped his way and his home, tax and don't forget the Queen!)
No longer do we have to listen to the arrogant and shameless tv commentators and presenters mindlessly waffling about the best route to the final or 40 or 50 years of hurt. Who realistically thought we could make the final? Nobody who hasn't had a lobotomy that's for sure. And what are all these years of hurt the English go on about? Hurt, what the flipping heck is that! It is not your divine right to be World Champions. It is not like your Father has been locked away in a far away lan unjustly and without trial. That's hurt. Not winning the World Cup because the players are not up for it and can't get on is part of the problem.
I'm pleased england are out because now I can follow my tip for the Tourny - The Dutch. Van Persie, Van Bommel and the left footed enigma that Chelsea somehow let leave, Robben. I truly think they have what it takes to beat Brazil and go all the way to the final. Then its a lottery.
And as for the Tennis. A quick word on Murray. Win and hes a Brit. Lose and hes always Scottish. I'll prob be drawn into some emotional bullshit that will want him to win vs Nadal in the semis but really, he's still a dirty sweaty with a dislike of all things England (apart from the millions pumped his way and his home, tax and don't forget the Queen!)
Its been a while I know
To all my thousands of loyal readers, I am back and I apologise for going off radar for past couple of months.
Life does go on and England will continue to be knocked out of major football tournaments after underperforming once again. Who had the gall to say the only two certainties in life were Taxes and Death? Certainly not an England fan!
As I type this its Wimbledon Festival time. Semi Final time only proves another truth that drives me mad for two weeks of every year. By far and away the biggest embarrasment to British sport, even greater than Polo or Cheese rolling.
It is the festival end of June and July they like to mask over as a sporting event and call it Wimbledon. Coach load after coach load of Caucasian day trippers make their merry way to outside courts, inside courts, centre courts and numbered courts of some Eastern European description. These out of towners from Surrey, Berkshire and Buckingham throng through the gates knowing the faintest about tennis. Maybe they are members at the local club, but thats probably due to the Gin and Tonic's and the time away from the kids that draws its charm.
These are the 'locals' that have no idea who won the French, Australian or Us Open titles this year or last. Becker or Sampras? Guessing at Federer or Nadal is pretty easy.
Here is an event where a large portion of the crowd have no idea in what is going on. Its like taking the Glastonbury and taking it to an Old Peoples home in Kent. The old folk might have a good time cracking walking sticks on the floor in time to The Scossor Sisters latest gay pop debacle but just as relevant as the timewasters at Wimbledon.
Lets face it. Henley, Ascot, Wimbledon, Goodwood. They all contribute nicely to the economy and serve as a nice day out. But the majority who go don't give a babboons red arsewho wins or loses. Its all about the social, the strawberries, the champagne and the badge that says members enclosure or Royal paddock.
Get over yourself and don't con anyone into believing you actually know anything about what you are watching.
It's good to be back.
Life does go on and England will continue to be knocked out of major football tournaments after underperforming once again. Who had the gall to say the only two certainties in life were Taxes and Death? Certainly not an England fan!
As I type this its Wimbledon Festival time. Semi Final time only proves another truth that drives me mad for two weeks of every year. By far and away the biggest embarrasment to British sport, even greater than Polo or Cheese rolling.
It is the festival end of June and July they like to mask over as a sporting event and call it Wimbledon. Coach load after coach load of Caucasian day trippers make their merry way to outside courts, inside courts, centre courts and numbered courts of some Eastern European description. These out of towners from Surrey, Berkshire and Buckingham throng through the gates knowing the faintest about tennis. Maybe they are members at the local club, but thats probably due to the Gin and Tonic's and the time away from the kids that draws its charm.
These are the 'locals' that have no idea who won the French, Australian or Us Open titles this year or last. Becker or Sampras? Guessing at Federer or Nadal is pretty easy.
Here is an event where a large portion of the crowd have no idea in what is going on. Its like taking the Glastonbury and taking it to an Old Peoples home in Kent. The old folk might have a good time cracking walking sticks on the floor in time to The Scossor Sisters latest gay pop debacle but just as relevant as the timewasters at Wimbledon.
Lets face it. Henley, Ascot, Wimbledon, Goodwood. They all contribute nicely to the economy and serve as a nice day out. But the majority who go don't give a babboons red arsewho wins or loses. Its all about the social, the strawberries, the champagne and the badge that says members enclosure or Royal paddock.
Get over yourself and don't con anyone into believing you actually know anything about what you are watching.
It's good to be back.
Sunday, 11 April 2010
Can anyone ever fall out of love with Tiger?
Go to You Tube and watch a hilarious parody of the new Nike advert. The original is simple enough; an unflinching and unemotional 30second stare from Tiger in black and white while his late father speaks eerily of how to behave and act and whatever else he said because it was so boring I switched off.
The you tube take-off is along the same theme but with Tiger pleading for one of his mistresses to take his number off her phone and warning her that his wife Erin might call and to not to answer and please don't spill the beans or whatever else it goes on to say as it petered out into something a bit sycophantic, if that's possible.
Fast forward to the first tee, round one at Augusta and the US Masters, Tiger's comeback and the World awaits his aura back on tour. He joins the thousands crammed in to the small space and a heroes welcome and plenty of smiles and whoops is what he is met by.
The point is can we ever really fall out of love with a superhero? Tiger is a superhero. There aren't many waking this planet. Federer? Schumacher? Tendulkar? Messi? That's about it I guess. Tiger had about 18 or 20 extra-marrital affair if all is to be believed. And he's stll a hero and not a zero.
It's now Sunday morning and hes perfectly placed to win on hs return, one of the last out and few off the lead. The World waits once again.
If he won he would really win. And oh my would he win. Its not just the trophy but more adoration, a million more column inches or the hundreds of sponsors crawling at his cell phone to get him back with more Zero's than plausible. It would be his cocksure manner that he really is an untouchable. A man that, even in such a religious and Christian society as America, can literally shag around and then smile all the way to the bank!
For humanity's sake and for the love of Augusta. For the love of respectability. For the love of man and what is right.
If anyone can affect the result. Let the green jacket not be Tiger's. It wouldn't be right.
The you tube take-off is along the same theme but with Tiger pleading for one of his mistresses to take his number off her phone and warning her that his wife Erin might call and to not to answer and please don't spill the beans or whatever else it goes on to say as it petered out into something a bit sycophantic, if that's possible.
Fast forward to the first tee, round one at Augusta and the US Masters, Tiger's comeback and the World awaits his aura back on tour. He joins the thousands crammed in to the small space and a heroes welcome and plenty of smiles and whoops is what he is met by.
The point is can we ever really fall out of love with a superhero? Tiger is a superhero. There aren't many waking this planet. Federer? Schumacher? Tendulkar? Messi? That's about it I guess. Tiger had about 18 or 20 extra-marrital affair if all is to be believed. And he's stll a hero and not a zero.
It's now Sunday morning and hes perfectly placed to win on hs return, one of the last out and few off the lead. The World waits once again.
If he won he would really win. And oh my would he win. Its not just the trophy but more adoration, a million more column inches or the hundreds of sponsors crawling at his cell phone to get him back with more Zero's than plausible. It would be his cocksure manner that he really is an untouchable. A man that, even in such a religious and Christian society as America, can literally shag around and then smile all the way to the bank!
For humanity's sake and for the love of Augusta. For the love of respectability. For the love of man and what is right.
If anyone can affect the result. Let the green jacket not be Tiger's. It wouldn't be right.
Tuesday, 6 April 2010
One man united in Yellow and Green
There was a joke when Michael Owen was in his prime that went something along the lines of - It was England vs Scotland at the old Wembley. Beckham and the boys say to Owen, 'Michael - Its only Scotland. Fancy playing on your own and we'll watch from the pub?' Michael agrees and after a game of killer darts the England team turn on to see half time Owen has scored twice and we lead 2-0. Back to the darts and the boys check the score again. Full time England 3 Scotland 4. Owen walks into the pub for a pint looking a little sheepish. Becks pipes up, what happened Michael - 'Well I got sent off after 70minutes. Sorry lads.'
Man.Utd vs Chelsea on Saturday saw the most one sided top of the table clash for years. Chelsea, without many first team players including the heavily influential Essien, Bosingwa and the best left-back this side of the moon in Ashley Cole still put Man.Utd to the sword, sort of.
Chelsea have hiccupped through the last few weeks, falling from 1st and failing to get past Mourinho's Milan before thumping 7past Champions League chasing Villa and then outplaying United on their own turf in front of their never happy travelling fans.
Chelsea are showing unity, true team spirit and an ability to dig deep. United seemed lost without their talismatic striker in the form of movement, passion, desire and general urgency around the park. Rooney is a bigger loss it would seem to United than he would be to England come the World cup.
It is a big week for United. Bayern midweek and another banana skin in the premiership on Sunday away to Blackburn could turn what was a potential treble trophy winning side into a bare cupboard for once.
Who would write them off at this stage, with their squad, with their knighted manager, with a record of wins and trophies and strength at the end of the season after season?
It looks like I just have.
Take note. Its not too long odds that would have United losing four on the trot, they are already half way there after all.
If it does happen, expect the Glazers to get a bit more stick and start seeing even more green and yellow being waved around the Theatre of Dreams!
Ronaldo who?
Man.Utd vs Chelsea on Saturday saw the most one sided top of the table clash for years. Chelsea, without many first team players including the heavily influential Essien, Bosingwa and the best left-back this side of the moon in Ashley Cole still put Man.Utd to the sword, sort of.
Chelsea have hiccupped through the last few weeks, falling from 1st and failing to get past Mourinho's Milan before thumping 7past Champions League chasing Villa and then outplaying United on their own turf in front of their never happy travelling fans.
Chelsea are showing unity, true team spirit and an ability to dig deep. United seemed lost without their talismatic striker in the form of movement, passion, desire and general urgency around the park. Rooney is a bigger loss it would seem to United than he would be to England come the World cup.
It is a big week for United. Bayern midweek and another banana skin in the premiership on Sunday away to Blackburn could turn what was a potential treble trophy winning side into a bare cupboard for once.
Who would write them off at this stage, with their squad, with their knighted manager, with a record of wins and trophies and strength at the end of the season after season?
It looks like I just have.
Take note. Its not too long odds that would have United losing four on the trot, they are already half way there after all.
If it does happen, expect the Glazers to get a bit more stick and start seeing even more green and yellow being waved around the Theatre of Dreams!
Ronaldo who?
Thursday, 1 April 2010
Big Danger for the Hayemaker?
Lennox Lewis was never lauded as much as he deserved. Part Canadian, part enigma, 100% boxing royalty. Whatever you think of him his record can't be denied.
The big man who was born in West ham but subsequently schooled and won Olympic gold for Canadia beat every one he faced inside the square circle. He won the belts 3x ala Mr.Ali, Tyson and Holyfield. He had presence, dynamite power in his paws and the ability to adjust to every size and style he faced and beat. There will never be many like him.
Lennox was the last British Heavyweight great. Some have come and gone without as much as a murmur including the next Heavyweight champion, Audley Harrison (if you believe anything he says).
But now there is a real pretender to the throne, David Haye. The man who slayed the dragon in form of cartoon caricatured Russian monster Valuev. Possibly the hairiest man ever to to be called a champ.
Ask any boxing fan a year ago what David Haye's best attributes were, his monster 'hayemaker' and his mouth would probably prove most destructive. His self confidence not far behind.
Today, just before getting in the ring for his first defence against the 2x journey man and self named 'Quiet Man' John Ruiz, Haye is a different beast.
He is a boxer and a thinker. He is also basking in the glory a little too much of becoming 'Champ'. He speaks of knocking out the Klitschko brothers a little too frequently, even before America has paid notice.
His chances against the big Ukranians is debatable, better against the younger brother than the older because he looks like a bear hugger rather than an imposing brawler.
Haye's chances against Puerto Rican Ruiz? Questionable. Ruiz hugs and holds and leans and is bigger and more experienced. Haye is the bigger puncher and more charismatic.
The Brit living in Clapham needs to get in and out sharpish or he could become fodder in a messy holding fight that would frustrate and ultimately ruin his chances of Worldwide adoration and untold riches.
Something he cleary strives for.
The big man who was born in West ham but subsequently schooled and won Olympic gold for Canadia beat every one he faced inside the square circle. He won the belts 3x ala Mr.Ali, Tyson and Holyfield. He had presence, dynamite power in his paws and the ability to adjust to every size and style he faced and beat. There will never be many like him.
Lennox was the last British Heavyweight great. Some have come and gone without as much as a murmur including the next Heavyweight champion, Audley Harrison (if you believe anything he says).
But now there is a real pretender to the throne, David Haye. The man who slayed the dragon in form of cartoon caricatured Russian monster Valuev. Possibly the hairiest man ever to to be called a champ.
Ask any boxing fan a year ago what David Haye's best attributes were, his monster 'hayemaker' and his mouth would probably prove most destructive. His self confidence not far behind.
Today, just before getting in the ring for his first defence against the 2x journey man and self named 'Quiet Man' John Ruiz, Haye is a different beast.
He is a boxer and a thinker. He is also basking in the glory a little too much of becoming 'Champ'. He speaks of knocking out the Klitschko brothers a little too frequently, even before America has paid notice.
His chances against the big Ukranians is debatable, better against the younger brother than the older because he looks like a bear hugger rather than an imposing brawler.
Haye's chances against Puerto Rican Ruiz? Questionable. Ruiz hugs and holds and leans and is bigger and more experienced. Haye is the bigger puncher and more charismatic.
The Brit living in Clapham needs to get in and out sharpish or he could become fodder in a messy holding fight that would frustrate and ultimately ruin his chances of Worldwide adoration and untold riches.
Something he cleary strives for.
Friday, 12 March 2010
Welcome to S.Africa Mr.Beckham
Wayne Rooney is officially the new King of England. Official? But what makes him so official?
Because he has been stamped by quite a few endorsements, some he can hardly say, most he can hardly spell. Official, because with 30goals in an already champagne season he sits lofty and proud on a castle turret with not many to knock him off his perch.
Official, because he holds the ability to light the torch that millions of English fans across the country hold so tenderly.
He is officially the best player in England, officially one of the best in the World and without doubt he holds the only right footed and square headed chance England have of winning the trophy that realistically is way beyond our reach without him.
But all that is yadda yadda talk compared to his predecessor as footballing royalty and now part time paparrazi prince, part time model, full time father but always full time game changer, Mr.Beckham to you.
The former Manchester united, Real Madrid pin-up poster boy, L.A Galaxy marmite muncher and Milan makeshift midfielder still has it all.
The King may have scored and scored and scored again during the Champions league tie between two of the top teams from England and Italy but it was still Beckham, of no goals and no assists and only 30minutes match time that caught the front pages.
Why? Because, Beckham inspires, is interesting, is looked up to, is lauded by all and is right now a dead certain for Mr.Capello to be included in England's World cup squad.
Well he should be. Imagine 20mintues to go, World cup semi-final. Penalties a real option. Crosses aren't landing on Crouchies or the King's head. Free Kicks are flying into the stands, who do you turn to SWP? I don't think so.
I rest my case.
Welcome to S.Africa Mr.Beckham is what he will hear and not welcome back to L.A.
Because he has been stamped by quite a few endorsements, some he can hardly say, most he can hardly spell. Official, because with 30goals in an already champagne season he sits lofty and proud on a castle turret with not many to knock him off his perch.
Official, because he holds the ability to light the torch that millions of English fans across the country hold so tenderly.
He is officially the best player in England, officially one of the best in the World and without doubt he holds the only right footed and square headed chance England have of winning the trophy that realistically is way beyond our reach without him.
But all that is yadda yadda talk compared to his predecessor as footballing royalty and now part time paparrazi prince, part time model, full time father but always full time game changer, Mr.Beckham to you.
The former Manchester united, Real Madrid pin-up poster boy, L.A Galaxy marmite muncher and Milan makeshift midfielder still has it all.
The King may have scored and scored and scored again during the Champions league tie between two of the top teams from England and Italy but it was still Beckham, of no goals and no assists and only 30minutes match time that caught the front pages.
Why? Because, Beckham inspires, is interesting, is looked up to, is lauded by all and is right now a dead certain for Mr.Capello to be included in England's World cup squad.
Well he should be. Imagine 20mintues to go, World cup semi-final. Penalties a real option. Crosses aren't landing on Crouchies or the King's head. Free Kicks are flying into the stands, who do you turn to SWP? I don't think so.
I rest my case.
Welcome to S.Africa Mr.Beckham is what he will hear and not welcome back to L.A.
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